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For all of you jamtarts who couldn’t bother to attend the halloween shindig, here’s a transcription from my Grandpa Punk t-shirt:
- Gibberish Radio
- Grendel’s mum is a bitch
- Fuggers!
- Depends
- Cheap food at 4:00pm
- Iggy Pop is God
- Agorophobes
- Call centres in Mumbai
- Long Line Ups
- Drool Cup
John,Paul,George,Ringo- No Warranty
- Fargin’ SUV
- Sore knees, tuition fees
- Dumb kids can’t spell
- I’m tired of waking up tired
- Grumble
- “Your call is important”
- My old friends don’t know how 2 use the phone
- Stephen Harper = Satan
- CARP sucks
- Fake stuff in the cheese
- Puppy Crap!
- CTRL-ALT-DELETE
- I want to nap
- Too many doctors appointments
- Retarded newspapers
- Gas is too expensive
- Crummy eyesight
- Ripoff
- Toxic pet food
- Poor selection in large print books
These ersatz punk utterances were transcribed in no particular order, and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Othercat. It’s probably a safe bet that I agree with most of these sentiments, because I scribbled all of this on an old T-shirt and wore it to a halloween celebration as Grandpa Punk.
It was a grand shindig, and you should have been there. The best costume was worn by the woman dressed as the 8 of Swords from the Tarot. Sassinak looked succulent as always in her PVC, but it wasn’t her costume that garnered the most attention for creativity.
Barney has been coming to our new office the last little while, and much to everyone’s delight, he has made friends with two of our neighbours. A couple of nice ladies run a catering business next to us, and they have two French bulldogs in their office.
In the spirit of good neighbourly relations, I have taken Barney over to meet the two dogs a couple of times . One of them is a rather stout male who goes by the name of Allard. He has become a staunch defender of Barney when his younger companion gets a little too frisky for the wee chihuahua. Allard will stand between Barney and the rambunctious one to make sure Barney doesn’t get flattened in the commotion.
They like Barney so much that one day, the two of them escaped the confines of their office to come looking for Barney. My brother was slaving over a hot keyboard with the office door open, and he was surprised to see our neighbours (the human ones) come in looking for the two bulldogs. The dogs just wandered in like they owned the place, expecting to find their tiny neighbour waiting to greet them.
Unfortunately Barney and I were at the vet that day getting some booster shots, so the meeting never took place. Barney has his duties as Public Relations Director to fulfill, so he comes out on the road with PJ and I occasionally. He can’t work in the office all the time.
As some of you know, I’ve just got another critter. Barney has been with me for only 5 days, and he has already met loads of people, ingratiated himself with the neighbours, been pocketed by Sassinak and most of all, befriended Grendel.
Having an 8 week old puppy must be a sure fire way to pick up a date, because the cute little fugger really does help to break the ice. I have had everyone from teenage girls to grown men lose their composure and exclaim their love for the little guy. It’s funny how consistent the reaction is.
Grendel has turned around a little. The first couple of days, I sensed a great deal of jealousy regarding the new pup, but since then the two have started playing together. Grendel will gallop around the condo with Barney in hot pursuit. The wee dog is not one to give up too easily. Except of course when ADD kicks in and something distracts him from the chase. Grendel is aware of his size advantage, and will let Barney take whatever it is they’re wrestling for. Grendel will flatten Barney, and reclaim the contested object but there are no squeaks or yelps, so it’s all in good fun.
Last friday, I weighed Barney on the postal scale, and he came up to 940 grams. The vet had him on the scale earlier in the day, and I wanted to confirm the reading. They said 2.1 kg, but I was skeptical. 2.1 pounds is closer to the truth and the postal scale confirmed my suspicions. Today I discovered that Barney has gained 100 grams. He has broken the 1 kilo mark and the sky is the limit. I have a 1040 gram puppy.
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